Fzee Fzoo Fza!
Oh, sorry! Forgot that you won’t understand that!! My name is Flyiros, and I’m a fly. I know you are wondering, why would a fly write? Actually, I write because I’m sick of human behavior. They are stupid, mean, and inferior. Your so called Superman is just an imitation of us, I’m proud to be a fly, a superb one, indeed. I see the world from a different view; I know things you don’t, I can talk like humans, while they cannot talk like me. I’m special, I’m a fly!
I will tell you about my experience with humans. They’ve killed my only love, Flyola. Bustards! She was my soul mate. By the way, don’t ever use “it” while you’re talking about a fly, there are female and male flies. So, don’t use “it” for both genders. Shall I stop buzzing??? You, humans are impatient. Listen carefully; listen to the story of Flyola!
I was at that guy’s home. He was walking like a drunk, spending his time doing nothing, but watching T.V. Me and Flyola decided to live at his place. He was lazy, that’s why it was safe to live there. We thought, he would never think of killing us. The first few days I was amazed by his actions. He kept releasing something that smelt like gas, playing in his nose all day, and stuff that I couldn’t understand, things he does when there aren’t anyone at his home. I didn’t know why, and then I realized those things are harmful things, so he hides them. Once, my sweet Flyola passed out because of the gassy smell. I wonder why the man can bear the things he does, while he cannot bear other stuff, as normal as they might seem.
Flyola and I were living in peace, until that fateful night. His friends came into the house. They were playing cards, laughing and drinking yellow drinks bottled in green bottles. I love trying new stuff, so I took a sip of that green bottle. It was the most sugarless drink ever. Later on, I started to feel high, you should avoid the male fly when he is high! Why am I talking like a rapper all time??? It seems that I’m influenced with this sick music that guy was listening to, All Engleeish! AAALL Za Tieme!
I could not stop myself from bothering those guys. All flies have an advantage, their down left side leg makes humans shiver, It makes them nervous. Unfortunately for them that I was high, cause being high is all what a fly needs to corrupt a human’s joy!
One of the idiots started to slap his face, and another punched his friend’s face, dreaming of smashing me! They fought, brought down the table! They apologized to each other, and then they returned to the same stuff over again. How do they shift their mood so easily? Don’t ask a fly! All that I did was not enough, I was hungry for more, I wanted to bother them more.
I aimed for the nose, mouth, and ear holes. Those are my hotspots!!! Once a fly touches one of them, humans go crazy, won’t leave that fly unless he/she is dead! I scratched one of the guys’ nose, his nose was wet, unfortunately. This made me puke, and you ask why do we puke? We puke because of your sick behaviors and your miserable skin! And we eat what we puke, because your food sucks, its all we have to eat as your food is always salted. You only sugar your drinks, and we cannot taste it.
I drove him crazy; he left everything, and decided to have me killed! He raised his hands up, up. Up!!! I knew that he was trying to smash me. The greatest trick is to make a human think that he would hit you, then…POOF, fly away in no time. But, this bustard was faster, faster than me. He did it. I couldn’t breath. My sweet Flyola just came in time. She was trying to save me by providing artificial ventilation, those guys were laughing, and maybe they thought that she was kissing me! Even so, we do kiss each other, we know about love more than humans, but now was not the time. That guy’s hand was up, up, up! NOOO!
He killed Flyola! My sweet heart. She was my only love, my only friend, she was everything to me. She died while she was trying to save me. I’m weak; I cannot seek revenge on humans. I lost my only partner. I cannot afford living anymore. I cannot enjoy life while she is gone, as I’m missing her all the time. Here is a drink, a sugared drink; I will drink it to death.
My sweet Flyola, reserve me a place in heaven next to you.
I hate you cruel humans.
This was published in Magnificent Magazine Dec/Jan issue.
Fzee Fzoo Fza!